I first met Javi in Mexico and was immediately struck by her zest for the Lord and her surroundings. She did not hold back, her fire was contagious. So it did not surprise me to see that she not only followed that passion for God’s work into the pandemic, but she returned full-time to serve in Mazatlán as an art student and missionary. I asked her to share some thoughts on what it was like to meet God in a creative space and wrestle out of the idea that she was not ‘creative enough.’ — Caitlin

I used to think that being creative meant I had to come up with an incredible art piece, that it had to have a very deep meaning, and that it should be good enough to be put up in an art gallery. Personally,  I’m a perfectionist, so I spent almost my entire life convincing myself that I was not creative and that the art I would make every once in a while was not good at all.

People would come to me and say, “you’re so talented, you’re so creative” or “you should dive into this gift of yours more!” I never knew how to respond to those compliments because I had convinced myself that creativity was not a part of me. I was also trying to hide my pride and perfectionism with what I call fake humility. 

Somehow, I ended up deciding to do the Art Evangelist School at Youth With A Mission Mazatlán. I wanted to try something new and maybe learn some skills. But I realized that embracing the fact that I’m creative was a lot deeper than just holding a brush for long enough.

What God taught me, and has been teaching me this season, is that creativity is a gift from Him and that being/becoming creative is a process of discovering your identity.

I think that starting to believe that we’re creative is as much of a process as it is to believe that we’re loved, chosen, redeemed and children of God. It’s holding God’s hand and starting to walk in our identity. 

I’ve realized that it’s crucial to understand that God created us to be creative and to co-create with Him. We were made in God's image, right? So, why do we still think that our creativity is not good enough when we already know that the creator of the universe has given us His creativity and capacity to produce beautiful things?

We need to understand that our art/creativity(this gift from the Lord) was given to us to worship Him. That’s the only goal–to glorify God and portray His beauty.

Satan knows how powerful our art is in the spiritual world. His main job is to steal and kill and destroy (John 10:10) and he has and will do his best to attack the arts. He will try to prevent our art from being worship and honoring to God. So it’s not a surprise that we as artists struggle and experience spiritual warfare constantly.

Another important thing in this journey is to understand that it’s not about us. We might not like everything we create, but God loves it like a father loves the painting his 3-year old made. Beyond that, he redeems it, he uses it to speak to us and others, and to portray His glory.

It’s all about being obedient and good stewards of the gifts we’ve been given. I’ve been learning how to walk in this truth for less than 6 months and my art has changed incredibly. I’ve found myself creating pieces that definitely didn’t come from just my imagination. Now I experiment with colors, textures and techniques without fear. I’m able to produce more and better art in less time, and I’ve been able to teach others what I know. But above all, making art became such a special way to connect with God and listen to His voice. 

So trust the process, invite the Holy Spirit and don’t stop creating. Place your heart in the right posture, and whatever you make will bring glory to God. You’re creative, it’s part of your identity and original design. God will reveal it to you, you don’t have to believe it for it to be true. Your creativity can be expressed in many ways, not only in visual or musical arts. Being creative also includes leadership, organization, planning, pioneering, etc. God will use your creativity. 

What’s in your hands?